My Name is Abbie Fraser, and I’m mum to Rebecca Louise Whitelaw.

 

I was at work in the Foodhall in M&S the first day the Friends did their bag packing 6 and a half months pregnant and I remember saying “I really, really hope I never have to go through what any of you went through” to all the people packing bags.

 

Fast forward to the 2nd of November and I was lying in the labour ward looking at a photo of my 9lb 5 baby girl in an incubator, a drip in her arm and tubes in her nose.

 

I was admitted the previous day having been diagnosed with mild pre-eclampsia three days before I was due and was taken to

the labour ward to be induced. My labour progressed well, however, as much as I pushed, the baby just wouldn’t move. A doctor was summoned and I was told they were going to “help” my baby out. The doctor attached the ventouse cap to her head and pulled so hard, she pulled it off. After 20 minutes of tugging, the baby’s head was delivered. Unfortunately, at this point it became apparent that she was now stuck by her shoulders. The midwives and doctor worked quickly and after 2 manoeuvres she was delivered. One of the midwives then took her away to recuscitate her. I didn’t even know that I had had a little girl.

 

Half an hour passed, and it was the longest half hour of my life, until the midwife came back and told us that we had a girl and she was in the nursery. Even then, I didn’t think she meant the special nursery. After almost four hours, her dad was allowed to visit her, and it was him that told me just how ill she had been. She had been without oxygen for around two minutes, had a collapsed lung and possible damage to the shoulder she had been stuck by. But she was a fighter- She pulled out her CPAP after less than 2 hours, and later in her stay pulled out a feeding tube, a drip and TWO canulas. I finally got to see my little girl eight hours after she was born, and I was in no way prepared. She was enormous compared to the other babies in high-dependancy, but she was still in increased levels of oxygen and on a drip.

 

Rebecca came off the drip the day after and objected to being fed every 3 hours- so much so that when they put a tube in to feed her, she seemed to smile then pull it out and wrap it round her hand. She stayed in the Special Nursery for 5 days and on the ward with me for 2 before we went home.

 

Now Rebecca is a laughing, smiling 14 week old baby, who will probably never realise the worries she caused me when she was a newborn or that I walked the length of the hospital every 3 hours to feed her and I’m so thankful to the staff for making sure I still have a little girl to worry about.

 

Both Rebecca’s dad and I work in the café in M&S and whenever I come in to the café, I empty what’s left in my purse into the collecting tin because now I know how it feels to sit beside an incubator.